Child Sex (An Unnecessarily Inflammatory Title)

I should start with a brief summary of what this article deals with given the inflammatory title of the piece. Its all about the sex of unborn children and the social implications of parents using that data to decide on whether or not to keep that child. So if you have inadvertently clicked on this blog hoping to get your twisted paedo kicks, then i am very sorry to have wasted your time. 

There is a current raging debate about whether or not it should be made illegal for health workers to reveal the sex of unborn children, for fear that the parent may, through religious or social pressures, decide on a termination if it is shown that the child is female. 

Men are considered way better than women in all cultures, and its not for me on this occasion to say whether that is right or wrong, you can make your own minds up about that one. But now, within many religious and ethnic groups having a man child is so popular that if they find out they're having a lady child, they will enforce an abortion and make you try again till you make a child a with a willy and balls. 

This problem has apparently gotten so bad that many now believe that their should be a change in law so the sex of the baby is kept from the parents. Just in case they then decide to kill an unborn child based on it's sex alone. If these religious, foreign types don't know the sex of the baby then they cant force an abortion... Problem solved innit? 

Well no, its a completely stupid idea and anybody who thinks otherwise is a moron and should be forced to commit fellatio on the nearest tramp as punishment. 

And here's why its a stupid idea... 

Firstly for selfish personal reasons that effected my life directly. I have 2 children, a boy and a girl and in both cases I found out the sex of the child at the 20 week scan. I was told that there was no guarantee and that they often get it wrong. I think they only told me this as a disclaimer in case i was a mental religious/foreign person, as they were spot on on both occasions. 

For me personally, I liked knowing for 2 big reasons... Reason 1 was purely economic, I could now plan purchases more carefully (meaning, buy things in either pink or blue) as a young family money was very tight and knowing was a genuine help to us. Reason 2 I think is far more important and that is for the last 20 weeks of pregnancy knowing that it was a boy or girl enabled me to bond and look forward to its arrival and feel far more connected when my children were born. 

The second reason why this is brain-punchingly retarded is that it is only treating a symptom of a much wider problem. What we need to do is educate and enlighten those parts of society that still, through either religious bigotry or an inherently prejudice heritage still favor one sex over another. 

If we simply act to prevent one symptom as opposed to dealing with the actual root problem we will simply be shifting atrocities. All that would happen is we would see a dip in abortions and a steady rise in child murder. And we can't make child murder any more illegal than it already is.

And that's what i think about that... and if you have read this far you can surely only be disappointed. And for that i am sorry. With its wild title and weighty subject matter this should have been a real corker of a blog. But in the end its just a saccharine tale about what a fucking great modern dad i am, some thinly veiled racism and a preachy end message that makes me sound like a pompous burke with a preposterous sense of self importance. 

:-) (irony) 

Jesus Fucking Christ

Jesus fucking Christ... 

I know what your thinking, another sudo-intellectual, lefty, free thinking, anti-theist blog. Pitting logic and science against blind faith and mental weakness. Well you're wrong, yeah sure in the past like anyone with a functioning brain i have viewed religion with the disdain it deserves. But that was then. before the second coming. 

Yeah that's right, the second coming has, erm, come? I know what your thinking, I've lost my mind and joined some kind of cult, well you'd be wrong again. That's 2 wrongs already and were barely at the end of paragraph 2. Not your day so far is it? 

Anyway, the savior hath returnth to deliver us from evil and die once more for our sins at the hands of covetous Jews. Oh ,Mel Gibson was right and we all know it... Jesus has come back now though hasn't he so we can say it openly, no harm done.  

Getting back to the wafer thin premise of this blog... Jesus has come back. A nun has given birth, that's right a nun... and as we all know nuns don't have sex, ergo this must be an immaculate conception and therefore the child is the lamb of god, our savior Jesus H Christ. But he's not called Jesus this time he's called Francis after the Papal prince of PR, friendly faced Pope Francis. Whose winning smile and humanness makes you forget about the hundreds of years of atrocities committed by the catholic church. He is so charismatic that people are even willing to turn a blind eye to the rampant child abuse undertaken by the church and covered up by the Holy See. This is a social phenomenon known as "Jacko's Law".

So far no one from the Vatican has made a statement about the new Christ Child, but it's surely only a matter of time before they do. Besides as me and my new found faith know the Vatican may act as the word of god on earth but he also communicates with the theological proletariat by showing his image to social outcasts in crisps and oil stains. So by turning to the internet - the home of the social outcast - it is clear to many that this must be the second coming of the savior and we should all get ready for the impending judgment that's coming our way. 

Yeah, i'm afraid that the end is here and your only hope is to now repent your sins, embrace the love of Jesus as your lord and shepherd and cast aside your false idols and liberal free-thinking ideas. Otherwise you face the eternal damnation of the fiery pits of hell.

Or just maybe a nun had sex in the front hole... but honestly whats more likely a member of the catholic holy order acting on his or her sexual whims... or that this is the return of the son of god. And if any of you are cynical enough to think the only reason this is in the media and not covered up like the hundreds of other nuns that did it in the front hole and got preggers, is to take some of the of shine away from the current UN investigation in to the practices and policies of the Vatican, covering up and abetting the abuse of thousands and thousands of innocent children.... well that's the kind of bullshit Jesus 2.0 is not going to tolerate. 

0 :-) (irony)   

Explanation

Should probably start with some kind of explanation, god forbid something happen without one, that sounds like communist china to me...So here we go.

I'm a curmudgeonly sort of person, i have a general sense of despair about life and everyone whose taking part in it. however to amuse and distract myself from the bleakness and bullshit of everyday life I only had two options. 

Option 1:

Jump off a fucking bridge and end it all....Well that's a no-goer as i have responsibility and bills and an overdue library book. 

Option 2:

Make sarcastic and derisory comments about life and the morons taking part in it, in order to "handle" my melancholic outlook and gain some sort of schadenfreude-esque mirth.... Sounded doable...and to prove it i'm going to write the blighters down. 

Notes For Readers (should i ever get any)

1. I'm more or less uneducated by traditional backwards school standards, so if you're a grammar Nazi and take personal offence by any spells that is wrong or woteva... this will not be you're bag. (that ones on purpose). 

2. I do not mean anything i have written, even the opening gambit to this literary wasp-dick has been pure bullshit so far. 

3. Don't talk about fight club. 

4. I'll be using the phrase "i'm calling bullshit on...." a lot. I'm hoping to get some T's done with it on once its picked up, you'll all be using it, and everyone knows that the guys who get the sweetest puss are all in the 'merch. 

5. None of the facts I use are researched or true, including this one. 

6. Rules are for squares. 

There you go, that's what it is, now i had better write some shit down... or not, whatever. 

:-) (irony)